How to set family rules and restrictions for the kids

Every home, classroom, club, organization? and even society needs rules to run smoothly. Even simple childhood games like ?Candy Land? and ?Red Light Green Light? have rules. Have you set family rules in your household yet? Here's how...

Making rules, guidelines and expectations based on love are the surest way to build a home on firm foundation. But what sort of rules and guidelines should you set for your family? Rules and guidelines that help your family grow as a unit and as individuals-that?s the sort of rules and guidelines you should make for your family.

The rules you set for your family should be based on the age of your children, the particulars of your scheduling and your morals and belief system. The following suggestions should be able to help you get started?.

Households with toddlers

???? Households with toddlers will likely need to set simple rules that primarily focus on safety and discipline.

1.????? Bedtime rules and expectations should be simple, clear-cut and consistent.

2.????? Eating habits for life are established during toddlerhood. Rules about throwing food, eating a balanced diet and too much sugar should be bet set by example.

3.????? Expectations regarding listening should be clear and able to be comprehended and understood by your toddler. EXAMPLE: Periods of time out should be 1 minute for every year your child is old. You should also be consistent. If you?re too tired to discipline today, there is no reason you can expect your toddler to distinguish the difference between why he/she is being disciplined for doing something today but wasn?t yesterday.

Preschoolers in your household

Preschoolers need rules and expectations that remain consistent with what they?ve known to this point as well as a few additions?

1.????? Responsibility. Preschoolers are ready to be given simple household chores such as helping to set the table, fold laundry and pick up their toys.

2.????? Their way with words. Preschoolers are famous for taking new words out for a test drive. It is at this point in time that you need to be ready to set and enforce rules regarding acceptable and unacceptable language. Do you want to prohibit the words ?shut up? and ?hate?? How important are ?please? and ?thank you? to you?

3.????? Disobedience is going to rear its ugly head during this time. While your toddler may have done just the opposite of what you asked and kept going back to what you said ?no? to time after time, they are simply testing boundaries. They don?t have the reasoning skills to out and out defy you (no matter how smart you?know they are). Again, the key is consistency. This is going to take some self-control on your part. You can?t have a knee-jerk reaction and over-react one time and let the same misdeed go completely unnoticed the next time. Have a game plan. Decide in advance how you want to handle situations.

4.????? Social skills are going to be developing during the preschool years-especially if you work outside the home. Because the bulk of your child?s personality will be engraved into their hearts and minds during these years, it is important?no, imperative-that you mirror and teach humility, compassion, kindness, sharing and honesty. Living by these standards, explaining the importance of these qualities, expecting your child to make these qualities a part of who they are and having definite consequences for not doing so will give your child the tools he/she needs to be as well-adjusted in this world as they can possibly be.

Elementary aged children

As your child enters school, they are being exposed to all sorts of new ideas and people. The different values, parenting styles (or lack of) and personalities of their classmates will give them reason to question you, push their boundaries and yes, even become more bonded to you out of appreciation for the love and security you bring to their lives (even though they don?t realize this is what they are doing and why).

The elementary aged child has a sincere desire to please you. And as long as you are receptive and recognize this, they will go out of their way to do so. Because of this, you have a golden opportunity to build a relationship with your child through love and respect, communication and appreciation for one another. Your children will listen to you more now than they will at any other time in their lives. Make the most of it by building on expectations and rules you have in place already; taking them to the next age-appropriate level.

1.????? Your child will need firm rules as to what is and isn?t acceptable in regards to how they treat their friends and those in their class they don?t consider friends.

2.????? Your child will begin to explore the concepts of truth and lying. It is important that a) you always tell the truth and b) never fail to let your child pay the consequences for being untruthful.

3.????? Rules about school work should be set now, too. Developing strong study habits now will help your young student throughout their school career. While it is important to get homework done early in the evening, consider giving your child some down time after they get home from a full day at school before starting in again. As little as thirty minutes for a snack and time to visit with you and unwind is usually all that is necessary. When your children forget their work, give them one or two ?grace passes? a year; times when you take their work to them. After that, they need to pay the consequences in order to develop a sense of responsibility.

Middle school and onward

By the time your children reach their adolescent and teen years, you?ll be facing the need to set rules regarding computer use, cell phone and IPOD use, outings and sleepovers with friends, dating, driving?it makes you dizzy just thinking about it all, doesn?t it?

Don?t panic. If your home has been one where the guidelines, expectations and rules have been clear from the beginning, you shouldn?t have too difficult a time with your older children. You can be sure they will test you and push their limits, but this doesn?t make them a problem teen or a juvenile delinquent. It just means they want to grow and mature. So now, more than ever, they need your help. They may not act like it, but they do.

1.????? Place time limits on cell phone usage. Require phones be turned in to you at a pre-determined time each evening. Don?t let teens take their phones to their rooms with them at night.

2.????? Place blocks and password-ed parental controls on all computers in the house. This not only keeps your children from going where they shouldn?t go, but protects them from predators.

3.????? Enforce curfews. You can make exceptions for special events, but otherwise make hard and fast rules and stick with them.

4.????? While it is important to trust your tween and teen, you have the responsibility of speaking with parents as to where they will be when your child is invited to their home. It is not unreasonable to require to know where your child is, who they are with and who is supervising or chaperoning them at all times. If your child is reluctant or evasive, you probably have cause for concern.

5.????? Discussing rules and expectations for unchartered territory (dating, etc.) with your child will work to make your home run more smoothly. By allowing them to have some responsibility in deciding what these rules and expectations should be, they will be more apt to comply. But remember?you are the parent and should have the final word.

When all is said and done

The goal in setting rules and expectations for your home is not to rule with an iron fist. The goal is for everyone (including you) to know up-front what is expected of family members and to work together in love and respect to encourage each other to be loving, responsible and caring people.

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Source: http://sg.theasianparent.com/family-rules-how-to-set-them/

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